The Isolation of Infertility
The rates of infertility that we see today (the CDC estimates that 1/4 to 1/5 individuals experience infertility) indicate that many individuals and couples are going through this. And yet, it is often described as being a very lonely and isolating experience. Many experience a real lack of support through it. Furthermore, because it is not often openly discussed, there is little that can prepare one for this type of journey before you're in it. If you have not experienced this personally, chances are you know someone who has. If this is something that is pretty common, why can it feel like such an isolating experience?
Therapy for Infertility
Do you find yourself wanting more support along your particular journey yet are struggling to find it?
Have you tried opening up about your experiences only to feel that others cannot understand or might even hurt more than help with their way of showing support?
Do you find yourself feeling unable to open up to others about what you are going through even if you do have a solid support system?
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Sometimes, even if we are struggling to share of a painful experience with our loved ones, therapy can be a place we find ourselves more readily opening up. Fertility treatment is a significant venture - emotionally, physically and relationally. While going through this experience, therapy can be that needed safe space for you and your partner to process all of the emotions and thoughts associated with this avenue of family building.
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Do you find yourself experiencing:
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Increasing worry about the outcome of treatment
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Irritability with others, including your partner
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Overly pessimistic thoughts and feelings of frustration, sadness or anger
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Decreased engagement in or excitement about things that you used to enjoy in your life
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Sleeplessness or changes in appetite
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Increased stress and burnout related to your job or any other areas of your life
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Loss of connection with your partner, friends or family, or your faith
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Changes in mood related to fertility drugs and a difficulty in knowing how to manage those feelings
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worry or anxiety about the financial impact of fertility treatment
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frustration about not being able to family build in the way you envisioned or wanted
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You are not alone; it is very common for these experiences to occur with any long-term medical condition including infertility and fertility treatment. Therapy can help.
Challenges Can Lead to Growth and Resilience
There is so much to contend with throughout fertility treatment, including fitting in many doctor appointments to already busy lives, the emotional rollercoaster that comes with investing a good deal of time, energy, hope and often money into a process that cannot provide an absolute guarantee of success, stigma and a lack of social support that many experience throughout the process, changing dynamics within the relationship of a couple going through this together, and for the individual going through the actual treatment, physical and hormonal changes. Finally, individuals that go through infertility as well as fertility treatment often report mental health symptoms as well, such as anxiety or mood symptoms. This is where I come in - as your infertility therapist. I believe that, given a supportive environment, individuals and couples can start to see this journey as the opportunity that it is (in addition to family building) to recognize their own strengths and to grow as individuals and as a couple. I have a strengths-based approach to my work with infertility and as part of my work, I guide individuals and couples in finding empowerment throughout the process.
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A Greater Need for Self-Care
We need self-care even in the best of times - a way to care for ourselves, to find rest, check in, and introspect on our lives the goals that we have for ourselves. While going through infertility or fertility treatments, our need for self-care exponentiates. We need a robust way of taking care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, and socially; self-care is not something that can go by the wayside, even in the midst of juggling treatment with busy lives. One of the most rewarding aspects of my job as a therapist is to explore with clients how they can build up the tools in their toolbox of self-care. When we feel a lack of control over some circumstances in our life, we absolutely have control over how well we take care of ourselves.
Read about managing self-care through your fertility journey here.
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As part of your self-care journey, give yourself the gift of therapy. You do not have to go through this alone. In fact when we have support through the tough things in life, we tend to fare much better through them.
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I am exceedingly inspired and in awe of the strength of the individuals I witness bravely going through this process. It is a great honor of mine to bear witness to others' walk through fertility treatment and all that this encompasses. While working with me, individuals that are contending with infertility have the opportunity to explore underlying, potentially self-limiting beliefs they may be carrying with them through this process, their current and desired means of whole-person self-care, how to build up a hefty and useful support system, how to build confidence and self-advocacy skills to carry with them in exploring treatment options with their medical teams, and how to maintain healthy communication and support with their partner through the process.
